Somewhere Out There
by razorbladesandbutterflyswings
Summary: Pyro muses on what could have been. Oneshot


**Disclaimer**: I don't own the X-Men, I don't own Gilmore Girls. I just got this idea stuck in my head while listening to 'It Don't Matter to the Sun' by Garth Brooks (which I also don't own).

**A/N**: (The **BOLD** text indicates a shift of POV or of reality...because won't let me insert lines between the sections) If Pyro seems OOC, it's because I've never written him before…and because I'm a girl so I have no idea how the male mind works. This is a One-Shot, and doesn't mean that I'm back from my hiatus. My muse has mostly abandoned me, but it's possible I may post more one shots in the future.

**Some** people believe that for every choice we make in life, there is an alternate reality where we chose the opposite. Small things are played out. Big things are played out. There are an infinite number of realities for an infinite number of choices. Somewhere, there is another you, living another life because they chose the option you didn't.

I always wondered, after everything played out, what would have happened if I had stayed on the Blackbird that day at Alkali Lake. I wondered what would have happened if I'd turned back and told them I changed my mind. I wondered what would have happened if I had told her how I felt, even though I'm sure she already knew. Maybe if I had I wouldn't be here today, doped up with the cure and rotting in a cell for my crimes as a 'mutant terrorist'.

My name is John Allerdyce, and all I have are what ifs.

**John** took a deep breath, and fixed Rogue with a stare. "Do you always do what you're told?" he asked.

"Don't go," she said, her eyes pleading. In that instant, John knew that Rouge knew how he felt about her. Something inside of him clenched, and he gave her one last glare before sitting back down.

"Fine," he ground out, "I'll stay. It's too fucking cold out there anyway."

Rogue smiled.

**John** could feel his teeth chattering as the wind cut through his thin shirt. The cold bit at every in of exposed skin. He started wishing that he had stayed in the Blackbird, where it was warm.

As the melted snow started to seep into his clothes, John decided that his pride wasn't worth freezing to death in the Canadian Wilderness. He turned around and headed back to the jet.

He had to pound on the hatch for a few minutes before it opened, but it was worth the humiliation when he finally stumbled into the interior of the jet. John could feel Bobby's accusing eyes on him, and Rogue's hurt radiated off of here like a cloud. Awkwardly, he shot a half grin at both of them. "Too cold," he said. For the time being, it was enough.

**"Do** you always do what you're told?" John asked with a sneer.

His heart clenched when Rogue's face fell. With a sigh, he said "I'm sorry."

"You're really going then?" She asked, as Bobby looked at him with helpless fury.

"Yeah…I can't do this anymore," John replied wearily. With a sideways glance at Bobby, he said "I can't watch the two of you, day after day."

Rogue looked at him, clearly confused. "John, I don't think I understand."

John took a breath and steeled his courage. He was leaving, so it was now or never. "Every time you take his hand or look at him with that adoring look on your face, it hurts. Whenever you two give me the slip to have some alone time, it hurts. When he hesitates to touch you, it kills me because I know I wouldn't. I know him; I've known him for years Rogue. Sooner or later, he's going to want what you can't give him and he'll go looking for it. He'll leave you because of your mutation, and you deserve better than that. You deserve better than me. I don't care that you can't touch, I could work around that. What I'm trying to say…is that I love you. That's why I have to go. Goodbye."

With that, John turned and walked out of the Blackbird.

**John** stood at the top of the ramp, looking back at Bobby and Rogue. He puts his hands in his pockets and waited.

Rogue walked towards him and opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

John smiled at her sadly. "So," he said quietly, "I might kiss you goodbye but, uh, your boyfriend's watching. Take care of yourself, Marie."

With that, John Allerdyce turned and walked out of the Blackbird. He made it as far as the landing gear before someone grabbed him by the back of the shirt and spun him around. His arms were instantly full of Rogue, and her lips were pressed against his in a desperate, feverish kiss. He could feel her tears running down her face, and refused to let her go as her powers kicked in. John kissed her back until he was light headed and then pulled back. He wiped away her tears and pulled her against him.

Before John released her, he gave Rogue another kiss then took her by the hand and intertwined their fingers. They headed back onto the jet, to face Bobby and whatever else might happen, together.

**Somewhere**, in all those infinite realities…I hope I'm happy.

Ripped almost directly out of Gilmore Girls, episode 2-09 'Run Away, Little Boy'

TRISTAN: So, I might kiss you goodbye but, uh, your boyfriend's watching. Take care of yourself, Mary.

Thanks for reading, please leave a review and let me know what you think. (Sorry if it was tough to read!)


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